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Lessons in Imperfection

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In years gone by, I’ve often started a new year with a resolutions post (if that’s your bag – check out some old ones here), but this year I felt like it would be more apt to start the year on a different note.

I touched on what being a perfectionist really means here, and I thought the first week of January was maybe the best time to spill all I’ve learnt about what ‘perfect’ really means. Hint, there’s no such thing… Learning that life isn’t perfect and neither are you or the people you love, is easy in theory but incredibly hard in actuality. I love how many lovely comments I get on instagram and on this blog but so many of them contain the word ‘perfect’. I get it, I use that word all the time too. But with news that the Western world is more depressed than ever and social media potentially has a lot to do with that, I felt like I wanted to break down this whole idea of perfection that seems to secretly haunt us all, myself included. Lot’s of this is about body image but sadly as women, I do think that is something we all still battle with and it’s often the outside bits of ourselves we find the hardest to make peace with. But we can often be hard on the inside of us too… From whether you said something stupid, whether that person likes you, did you talk too much or not enough… These internal negative voices can be hard to turn off and seem to hold us accountable to every single supposed weakness of ours. And that’s before we’ve even started on our thighs…

So let’s make 2017 the year we stop striving for perfection and start embracing the ups and down of life and ourselves.

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For Every Picture You See, There Are Dozens You Don’t

 

I know from experience that from every trip or any shoot, there are dozens of photos I wouldn’t put on social media compared to the handful I would. Lighting, angles and just general luck makes the difference between a flattering shot and something you’d rather forget and I would hazard a guess that maybe even Victoria Secret girls have outtakes from shoots where there’s a dimple or a roll they choose not to share. Ok, maybe that’s wishful thinking, but genuinely I really believe that while we are lulled into believing all these girls on instagram look effortlessly fantastic all day everyday, we are all human at the end of the day. And if they do look damn amazing all day, so what? That’s one tiny part of who they are and they probably work damn hard on that part of themselves. I’m not in any way saying we should look for the bad bits of people, exactly the opposite in fact. But what we need to do is stop believing we are somehow unworthy because we have cellulite or stretch marks or rolls on our stomach when we sit down. That’s normal kids. I loved Leandra’s piece on learning to love her ‘resting belly face’ and it’s so true; we all have our ‘stuff’ and it’s about reframing our view of it to go from hate to love.

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Hard On Yourself, Hard On Others

 

Maya Angelou once cited an African proverb of ‘be careful of the naked man who offers you a shirt’ and the same is true with love. If we’re inwardly hard on ourselves, holding up our every flaw and failing for contempt, even if only inwardly, we’re probably going to be really hard and down on the people around us. So if you’re keen to be kinder and less critical to your significant other or family, the first step is learning to accept your own flaws and be kind to yourself. Often the parts of our boyfriends/girlfriends we like the least (or drive us CRAZY) are the parts we ourselves mirror and dislike in ourselves. My new favourite mantra is to hold up a mirror before you hold up a magnifying glass and go from there.

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Behind What’s Online

 

No one knows what goes on behind closed doors and that’s never been truer than the online world we create for ourselves. I’m a natural sharer and love posting things I’m into online, but I definitely don’t share everything, and I’ve realised so much of what we see online is a curated, edited glimpse of someone’s life and far from the whole story. I’m as guilty as the next person of looking at others and thinking they have nothing to worry about and their lives are free of stress, problems and anguish. And maybe they are which would be amazing wouldn’t it? But the main thing to know is that for the most part, all that’s really important in life goes on behind the ‘grams and behind every seemingly perfect relationship, perfect body and perfect life, there’s other stuff going on that is just as much a part of a successful life as all the good stuff. Know that everyone has bad weeks, even if their online persona is consistently sunny. In that sense, we should all have compassion online. I had a tough few months in 2016 and when I got a few negative comments here and there, even something super simple like ‘I’m sorry Lucy but I really don’t like this outfit’ it touched a nerve far more than it would have done if I’d been feeling strong and happy. It made me realise that even the smallest slight can have a huge impact on someone’s day and none of us know what kind of day someone is having, so it’s up to us to think before we act and realise there is a human behind every instagram account. If you don’t like it, unfollow it. Unless you want to troll Trump or Katie Hopkins on twitter and then by all means go ahead… Kidding. Kind of.

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Beware of the Compare

 

Hands up if you’ve ever felt shit about yourself thanks to instagram/pinterest/facebook/tumblr? I have my hand in the air right now too. Comparison is the route of all evil in my mind and also a completely fruitless exercise in many ways. I really believe that making positive changes that last, both to your body and mind, comes from a positive place, not a place of hating yourself for not having abs like Candice Swanapoel or a CV like Emily Weiss or Lena Dunham. Brene Brown’s wise mantra of  ‘I am enough’, because the opposite of scarcity is in fact ‘enough’ not an overflowing amount, is a really useful thing to remember if ‘I want what she’s got’ is ruining how you see yourself. We are all enough and while it’s good to strive for better in some departments, holding yourself up for comparison and feeling like you come out second every time is the route to unhappiness. Know you’re enough even if someone else, in your eyes at least, feels like a lot and if you want to make changes, do it for you and no one else.

Side note, you might have noticed on instagram lately that I’ve been caring a lot less about whether my feed all ties perfectly together. I’ve finally accepted that try as I might, I will never have a feed like Oracle Fox (AKA beautiful, synchronised and refined) and that’s ok. Instead, can only post what I like when I feel like it and just go with that. It’s weird how such a tiny thing can make me feel instantly less sub-standard and happier, but ridding myself of the idea of ‘perfect’ in that tiny way has felt really liberating for me.

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Know Who You Are And Be OK With That

 

This time of year, our feeds, tv screens and indeed coffee breaks at work are fuelled by chat about workout regimes, new diets and juice concoctions. It’s so very easy to feel like a sub par human being because you’re quite happy eating a bowel of fairly regular cereal for breakfast rather than a chia pot you prepared the night before, or feel bad you’re not boxing five times a week. It’s good to have a goal but know who you are and work with what you’re about. I’ve never been a salad person (it’s a side not a main people) and used to feel bad when I was the only person in the office eating a wrap or pasta when everyone else was eating some amazing rainbow superfood salad. But you know, it works for me so I’ve given up trying to convert myself. Just like I’ve given up on the idea of running, sleeping in barely-there silk slips and not watching TV in bed (it’s my happy place). I will always buy green juice, forget to go to the gym and never, ever give up sugar. Find exercise that works for you and your personality type rather than what all your friends are doing and eat what works for you and not for others. Likewise, if you hated that film everyone else is obsessed with, say so and have a conversation about it. If everyone else says something is ‘over’ and you still rather enjoy it, don’t give it up just because you think you should. Try new things, push yourself and stay true to you, but if you want fish fingers and baked beans instead of kale occasionally, never ever apologise for that.

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Becky With The Good Hair

 

This is a weird one and might seem counterintuitive to what I’m been talking about. But I think it’s a great way of understanding imperfections and what they really mean. I’m going to use myself as an example for this which I hope you won’t mind… So I’ve always had a weird relationship with my hair. It’s fine, thin and easily breakable, and after a year of travelling aged 19, it started falling out. I had the thinnest hair I’d ever had, it was breaking off at my ears giving me layers I didn’t want and I felt like I couldn’t meet anyone without comparing my hair to theirs and feeling gross as a result. I spent a fortune on treatments and products to no avail. What eventually worked was growing my bright blonde out for a year or two and letting it recover, which is the story behind my ‘dip-dyed’ hair I had a few years ago. Nowadays, I’ve made peace with my thin, wiry locks that will never be flowing and luscious and will always be a little bit ratty and beachy which I’ve embraced rather than bemoaning. I get so many lovely compliments on here and on my instagram about my hair now which to this day, still feels weird as I’ve always felt like everyone else was Becky with the good hair, not me. I’m not trying to big myself up and am so grateful when people say that, it’s just taught me that the very thing you battle with, others are out there loving it. The hair that bugs you, the boobs you wish were bigger/smaller or the laugh you worry is really annoying… The grass is always greener and someone out there loves what you have even if you don’t.

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It’s Always Sunniest After A Storm

I like to think that we all need the crummy bits of life to relish the good. If life really was perfect, would we even be happy? Read any book or any Ted talk about happiness and the majority of people believe it comes down to gratitude. And, ironically, to stop looking for happiness. If none of us had imperfections or the crap bits of life to deal with, how would we be appreciate what we really have? I’m not wishing bad stuff on anyone but even tiny set backs we all encounter in life help shape who we are and ultimately lessons rather than mistakes or flaws. From that job you didn’t get to the broken heart you’re not sure will ever heal (it will), that stuff makes the good stuff feel even better and brighter when it finally happens. Don’t let the bad define you but appreciate it in its own weird, twisted way for shaping you and try and be grateful that life hasn’t always been rosy so that when it is, you can see it in all its glory.

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Discover JOMO 


According to our social media feeds, everyone is brunching, at the beach or being proposed to while we are still in our pyjamas with a mountain of washing to do and a bathroom to clean. Or is that just me. It’s easy to start thinking we should be attending farmers markets and fancy restaurants every single weekend to be a validated, successful human being but what if you don’t really like artisanal meats and would rather go to Byron and the cinema? I’ve spoken about the detrimental effect of the word ‘should’ and it’s never more prominent than with social media. We should all think about others and make an effort in life, but we can also go easy on ourselves sometimes and know that real life is not an endless array of glamorous parties and events. Plus, I for one would hate it if it was. Also, the reality of many people that are pushing ahead with burgeoning freelance careers and young businesses is that weekends will involve an element of work. Before I took this blog full time, I worked most evenings and weekends to sustain this blog and my day job. Now, I want more of a balance but working when others aren’t is a reality of being your own boss and one that people won’t always understand. My friend Katherine has just launched an amazing new site called Work Work Work that celebrates just that and everything that goes into being a success in every sense, the good, the bad and the downright ugly. I love how she uses hard work as the backbone to talk about everything in life and breaks down what goes on behind the images and stories we are all fed online. To me, as long as you’re not cowering under a duvet everyday, JOMO (the joy of missing out) is something to relish not lament. Go back to favourite local places rather than that ‘it’ place everyone is talking about, stay in on a Friday night out of choice, work on a Sunday if you need to and hang out with people that leave you buzzing rather than those people you just feel you ‘should’ see.

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Waiting for Perfection

Lastly, if you’re out there and deep down thinking  “I’ll be happy when…”, you might just be waiting forever. Putting your own happiness on hold or believing you would enjoy life more if your body was different or you had more money or a new relationship, you could be waiting forever. I believe looking after yourself and going after things could indeed make you happier, but happiness is not a destination that only comes about once everything in life is perfect. I’m so guilty of seeing the flaws in things only to look back at a later date and realise how great that situation was. Don’t wait till all your ducks are in a row because I don’t think they ever are; there’s always something else to want or to feel you don’t have. All we really have, is now. That might sound super self-helpy and OTT but isn’t it true? Plan for the future, think ahead but don’t forget to pat yourself on the back for something you did today or appreciate the tiny things that make day to day life tick over.

Equally, if you want something in life or believe something is missing, please go after it in an active way. As Elizabeth Gilbert said in Eat Pray Love; “There’s a wonderful old Italian joke about a poor man who goes to church every day and prays before the statue of a great saint, begging, “Dear saint-please, please, please…give me the grace to win the lottery.” This lament goes on for months. Finally the exasperated statue comes to life, looks down at the begging man and says in weary disgust, “My son, please, please, please… buy a ticket.”

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Let me know in the comments what imperfections you’re embracing this year and any alternative resolutions you have in place for 2017.

 

 

 

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Comments

  • Happy New Year Lucy! Thank you so much for this post, I definitely needed it and I’m sure I will be revisiting it throughout the year when I need a reminder to stop trying to achieve perfection and just let the good times roll!

  • Sarah

    This really resonates with me this beginning of the year. It’s things I know, but need a reminder of every now and then. What helps for me is talking about the influence of social media and the strive for perfection with friends – they can then also get me down to earth again when I’m commenting on how great someone else’s CV or bum looks. Good post: the deeper writings are a great combination with light-hearted outfit posts and travel pics. X

    • Thanks Sarah – going to try and mix in a few more like this throughout 2017 so I’m really glad you like. I agree, I think it balances out the fashion and travel posts I do nicely :) xxx

  • Caitlin Porter

    This is honestly one of the best personal posts I’ve read in a while. I recently wrote a blog post on why we need to show ourselves more love; all of our flaws included and work towards self acceptance, because like you said perfection doesn’t exist but you can try and be less critical of yourself an others around you. I think people don’t understand that being yourself is okay, and having your own quirks makes you super special from the next person. Happy New Year!

  • Simply a beautiful post … Self reflection and analyzing what’s best for the soul is always a magnificent thing to do! I love it! :)
    Here’s to a great start and fabulous 2017!

    ❤LA BIJOUX BELLA❤ | BY MIA | A Creative Lifestyle Blog

  • The beginning of this year has been so stressful – it is good to read such a great piece on letting go and being who you are. Thanks!

  • Loved this post Lucy, so many fab points :) Especially the undertone of comparison & wishing for life / things / looks etc that you’re not. So unhealthy but such an easy trap to fall into.

    Mel x

    mediamarmalade.com

  • Laura Rose

    such a lovely post to read and has really given me things to think about for the coming year ahead!

    Rose and Weston x

  • Samantha Serbus

    Lucy this is go great! I LOVE your posts like this. I’m literally dealing with the same thing this year – the idea of not being perfect. I became such a ball of stress over the past few years, thinking I needed to “grow up” & attain a life that all my peers seemed to portray on their Instagram feeds. But that’s proven to be a constant disappointment and I’m tired of feeling like I’m letting myself down. Because when I don’t go on social media & just focus on what’s real in my life – I feel pretty darn proud of myself! I’m working on changing my expectations, finding the humor in life, and not taking any of it too seriously. I’ll leave a nice example here: I wanted to stay in for New Years this year, but my boyfriend wanted to go out. In my mind I was like “We have to spend New Years together! All my friends are doing things with their boyfriend/girlfriend tonight, we should too! If we don’t spend the eve together and post a pic of us kissing on social media, people will think we aren’t in love!” …this is so crazy and so untrue. So he ended up going out & I stayed in and ripped up carpet in our new house (a project I’ve been meaning to do for the past year). And we both had a great time and shared a nice kiss when he came home well past midnight. We welcomed in the New Year with our imperfect relationship & new floors.

    • I love this story so much… It’s exactly that kind of thing that could have ended in a huge fight and then when you look back, you realise he would have been unhappy staying in and you would have been unhappy going out so why not just divide and conquer? I’ve definitely been in that exact situation before. I know exactly what you mean r.e social media too – I think it can be most destructive when it comes to relationships. Like you’re not really in love if you’re not gushing paragraphs worth of positive things about a person on instagram or constantly on mini breaks together. No one shares the things that drive them crazy about a person or the row they had about directions whilst getting to said mini break! Both of which are normal and healthy. I loved reading Alain de Botton ‘The Course of Love’ – it’s great at making you realise that no relationship is perfect and we don’t need to be 100% in tune, nor can we ever be, to make a happy life together. xxx p.s ripping up carpet sounds like an incredibly satisfying way to start the year – I’m suddenly wishing I had one to tear up too!

  • The Gold Lipstick

    Absolutely love it!

    Mireia from TGL
    https://thegoldlipstick.com/

  • I absolutely loved reading this Lucy, thank you :)

    Heather x http://www.atelierofstyle.co.uk

  • Laura Munday

    Great post, very well structured and written and you’re so right about what you said about your hair and how someone out there loves what you have, even if you don’t, and I’m also 100% with you on the sugar too – I will never EVER give that up! I began embracing my imperfections a few years ago and now I love them and can see the benefits in them, for example I never hid my small boobs and always went topless but now I love them and the fact that I don’t have to wear a bra at the gym, and I have embraced my inability to roll my rs when I speak Spanish as my boyfriend thinks it’s cute. I also don’t care how many people like the things that I like, if anything it makes me like them even more because they’re more mine. We discussed our goals and intentions for 2017 at our New Year dinner and I said I wanted to see a starfish – I think people thought I was joking. Happy 2017!!

    • I think seeing a starfish is a great one! Much more interesting than ‘go to the gym every day’… And sugar and small boobs forever! xxx

  • Helena Martín

    This is, by far, the most inspiring post you have ever written. It funny because you are that perfect girl with the perfect home and the perfect instagram life… but you are not. As no one is. I have learned that behind all those perfect feeds there are hours of not enjoying life and being hard on oneself. Too hard, I mean.
    It´s fine to create (and work on) this kind of fake 2.0 life because it can be a bussiness that can make you approach to a fantastic and (kind of) easy life, but we all should realize that it´s just that… an alter ego that should not eat the real us. It is not that important… at all.
    Have a fantastic 2017, Lucy.

    Helena
    http://dressing-theroom.com/

  • Charlotte

    The lady below me beat me to it but i agree, this is the best piece i’ve read of yours. And it means more coming from you as you are a part of the social media, ‘it’ girl world. But everyone only sees the highlights, not the nights in, hair band on, mask on, dominoes and scabby pjs. I try to remind myself of
    that. What does it all really mean anyway? Posts like this are what us women need, sisterhood. Happy New Year Lucy

    • Thanks so much Charlotte. That’s exactly why I wanted to write this – I am that person in scabby PJs so much of the time and hate the idea of fuelling any ideas about perfection through what I do. So glad it all resonated. xxx

  • Lucy I absolutely loved this post. Perfection is overrated! I hate to sound preachy but I had a double lung transplant last July and it’s made me realise how none of that matters and it’s more important to be authentic because that’s what leads to true happiness. It’s hard to do in a world of social media but so worth it to just try and let it go as much as you can. I’m absolutely covered in scars and my hair has thinned terribly since transplant which would have devastated me before but now I just don’t care at all because I’m alive and it’s all just outside stuff anyway – to be happy and healthy on the inside is what matters the most. Happy new year to you! x

    Sick Chick Chic

    • Wow Josie, you’re officially my new hero! I’m so happy you got the transplant you needed and have got through that happy and healthy with such an amazing attitude in tact… Those scars are the best kind of battle wounds as you say, and tell the best story which is you getting through something massive. I think we can all learn from you and next time we are bemoaning a part of our body, take a beat and realise ultimately how amazing it is for working in the way we need it to. Thanks so much for commenting and lots of luck and love for the future. xxx

  • Earth4ngel

    perhaps you would find the book Nature by Ralph Emerson Waldo helpful in manifesting some of these positive aspirations in excepting ones self and seeing the beauty in everything, its really short and incredibly inspiring and uplifting. Once you read it, it will resonate with every moment of your life and you will feel like the goddess of your own private heaven on earth.

    • Will check this out – thanks for recommending xxx

  • Sian Hunter

    you’re so great, Lucy. i have to say, you’re one of the people I’m guilty of comparing myself to so its so wonderful to read such an honest post. this year i am planning on embracing my anxiety and trying not to be angry at the way it stops me from doing stuff. instead I’m going to focus on what i can still achieve in spite of it. this post was very inspirational and lovely to read, thank you.

    p.s. i bloody love your hair, its the *perfect* (sorry) effortless cool i always try to achieve with mine xx

    • Thanks so much Sian – such a lovely comment. I’m prone to anxiety too but again, I think it means that when we do push through it do something outside of your comfort zone, that achievement feels even greater. Happy new year xxx

  • This is a very inspring post, so real and honest. I’m embracing that I’m not perfect neither will I be and I’m comfortable with that! I’m just going to be me!

    Jordyn junerobin.blospot.com

  • Ninnu

    Thank you Lucy! This post was the first one after new years that I actually read and felt that I got something from it. My last year was completely about should’s, I understand it now. It did not got me anywhere with my life.
    Just thank you!

  • Anya

    This post was absolute soul food! Thank you Lucy, I’m a long long time reader and this cemented why I keep coming back x Best wishes for the new year

  • Love this post!

  • I’ve never heard that African proverb before, but it struck such a chord I’m sure I’m going to remember it for a long time! I like to think I’m kind to other people, but I know it would certainly be even easier if I were able to be a lot kinder to myself. I really, really like what you wrote around that subject on here, and just wanted to tell you that :) Perhaps my favourite thing you’ve ever written!

    Flora

    http://www.theeverchanginghome.com

  • This is such a lovely post! Very inspirational!
    Cloe X http://clxelouise.blogspot.com

  • Such a good post! I’ve been thinking about these sorts of things lately, especially after New Year’s. I decided not to do resolutions but just to focus on being kinder to myself but also being more self-reliant.
    Most of my winter weekends are takeout and Netflix, I haven’t been to a fancy event in months and I don’t care!

  • That Maya Angelou quote stays with me….perfectly inspiring.

    http://www.dnamag.co

  • Maria Cordoba

    Thanks very much Lucy for making the time to write this post. It resonates with me so much.

  • Melinda

    Thanks so much Lucy for being real and honest, you’ve covered off so many factors that so many of us can connect with. About to share your post on our Facebook Page. xo

  • a simple style

    Such an important topic and so well written. I’m late to the whole (public) social media thing & I’m so glad of that. Im able to see it for what it is now but I don’t think I could have handled it all as well in my teens or early 20’s. It freaks me out a bit for my kids but hopefully I’ll be able to equip them to deal with it (made easier with articles like this) and know even those behind the most perfect images feel the same.

    http://www.simplestyle.ie

  • Hannah

    This is such a wonderful post Lucy and a topic that couldn’t be more relevant to today’s society. Living in a world where we are constantly made to feel like we should be an object of perfection is mentally tiring on us all. We all need to stop living inside our own heads so we can focus and be happy with what we have in front of us. Thank you for saying what we all need to hear as it rings true with so many of us – myself included. Such an inspirational post xx

  • Summer Read

    I really needed this today! This is so relatable, towards the end of 2016 I was having a difficult time dealing with my high expectations, questioning my goals and wondering if I’ll ever be able to find what I want to do in life. It’s important to take a step back, re-evaluate what makes you happy and be kinder to yourself. Thank you so much for this! So wonderfully written too! x

    Summer, http://www.thetwinswardrobe.com

  • Tuva Stener

    Wow Lucy. THANK YOU for this post! It was just want I needed. This is the reason why you are my favorite blogger, you are such an inspiration, in so many different ways! Thanks for sharing this, I feel like I will be going to bed so grateful tonight. I’ll save this post on my computer as a friendly reminder for myself!

    Hugs,
    Tuva
    http://www.modette.se/tuvaalicia

  • Claudine

    Thank you for this post Lucy. This is just the topic I was thinking about this morning on my way to my corporate job. (Instead of going out and having an Acai bowl at a fantastic place with beautiful other bloggers……)
    Gratefulness is really hard, but so important. I don´t know where all this un-self-consciousness and self-hate is coming from, but it is one of our biggest problems (beneath Trump and Brexit).
    I am struggling with my age. I`m a fashion blogger and I’m way older than 30 years. Not easy, but this is my topic for this year. Stopping my FOGO (fear of getting old).
    So once again: thank you for sharing your thoughts and I promise I will never user the word perfect for your Insta pics. ;-)

    Love
    Claudine / http://www.claudine

  • Sophia Rotterman

    Hi Lucy! I’ve never actually commented on a blog post, but your section about loving your hair really touched me personally because I have gone through the exact same thing! Fine, thin, fragile hair can be a real downer sometimes, especially when you can’t seem to ever get it to look they way you’d like (preferably thick and wavy like a VS model…). This year I have taken a break from dying it after trying to get that “bleach blonde” look which, unfortunately, destroyed my hair. It’s really nice to know that other people have gone through the same thing as I often feel like I’m alone in this battle! Thank you for being so honest, especially since so many young women like myself are looking for someone that we can both relate to and look up to! And for the record- I absolutely love your hair!

    Lots of love,
    Sophia

  • Ciccollina

    Lucy, it strangely breaks my heart to think that you could possibly read a nasty comment and take it to heart in your low moments. You’re such a beautiful, spirited woman and I hope you know that.

    This post was one of the real-ist and most on-point things I’ve read in a while, I love the musings on JOMO and finding your own happy place. The only thing that could make it better would be if you posted a picture that you *aren’t* happy with in order to show us that you don’t have a perfect body, because I have a hard time believing it.

  • Victoria Saunders

    thank you for this post!

  • RJS

    This is so wonderful, truly

  • Jessica Schmidtke

    Reading this was exactly what I needed today. So many of the things you described are things that have been weighing down my thoughts. Thank you for inspiring and sharing <3

  • Kat

    I love this post. Really refreshing to read. X

  • I really love this post. I love blogs, Instagram etc but feel like everyone is morphing into one sometimes and only posting content that will be popular with the masses (understandably, but also sadly).

    My favourite bit – “According to our social media feeds, everyone is brunching, at the beach or being proposed to while we are still in our pyjamas with a mountain of washing to do and a bathroom to clean.” – so so true!!

    https://donnathediabetic.wordpress.com/

  • Beautifully written and so refreshing! Will be bookmarking this so I can come back and read it again in the future too.

    Eilidh || http://herprettystateofmind.blogspot.co.uk/
    xoxo

  • Sofia Battaglia

    Loved this post. It was a hard read and I was really tempted to skim. This is solely because I’m a perfectionist down to the bone so it was painful to read, but I read anyway! Thank you for putting so much thought into this!

    xo, Sofia
    http://www.thecozie.co

  • Catherine

    honestly, i loved reading this!! it was so well thought out, real and i loved all the little references as well. thanks for sharing – definitely one of my favourite blog posts that i have read recently xx

  • Uh YES Lucy. I absolutely LOVED reading this and I am so happy I have discovered your blog (cheers Liv P) I agreed with errything and will carry these thoughts with me throughout the year. I absolutely think that we should embrace JOMO, there is SO much social pressure these days. It is important to realise that there is just as much happiness in picking up one of those lush £3.50 pizzas from Aldi and watching telly on a Friday night as there is going out on the taaan… In fact I think I prefer it! Immy x

    http://www.immymay.com

  • JOMO, now this is something I can get on-board with!!! And that Liz Gilbert quote is one of my favourites, in fact the whole book is outstanding – nodding along to this whole post, you’re saying what a lo of us are really feeling right now!

    Lauren x
    Britton Loves | Lifestyle Beauty Wellbeing

  • Andrea L

    i absolutely love this post..it´s really such an inspiration! I want to stop overthink so many things and let them play three times in my mind.. i just do it! (hopefully ;)) <3

    https://andreaandcoco.wordpress.com/

  • Jamie

    This is a great post, thank you for sharing. Also, just so you know, I love your hair. It features widely on my pinterest board!

    Jamie x

  • Cara Shuttleworth

    Hi lucy, I’m new to your blog and just want to say wow! Well done you, this is excellent. I’ve been feeling really down lately and constantly comparing myself to others and my husband has said countless times “it’s all in your head, you’re making yourself unhappy, forget about everyone else and just focus on you” and I find it so hard to do, particularly because as you said everyone else seems to be brunching, at the gym with a personal trainer, being gifted products I’ll never even sample, going to the Maldives or getting pregnant (something I can’t medically do). And I strived a lot last year to become Toxin free and use clean beauty and skin care products and I went vegan (for the animals, not because it’s become popular lately) which are two things to be very proud of but I thought that I also had to Marie kondo the crap out of my house and get succulents and crystals and download Headspace and start meditating because it all seems to come hand in hand when you follow Kate hudson and gwyneth et Al on instagram, then the other day I just thought ‘what am I doing? I can be healthy and vegan without selling my soul! I don’t actually like kale or feel yoga is an exercise I enjoy and I feel like I’m forcing meditation and buying succulents just because everyone else is!’ after that, I took a long hard look at my life and have decided to stop thinking everyone else has some formula I need to copy and just do my own thing, I’m now ready to accept the things about me that might seem imperfect and to (fingers crossed) stop being so critical of myself. Your post was exactly what i needed to verify it, thank you so much x