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Je M’en Fous?

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Give me a white tee with a flash of red writing and I’m sold straight away, so when I saw this in Reformation I knew I was getting it even before I got the translation (French is not my forte). But when I found out it means “I don’t care” I knew I had to have it…

Not because I am deliciously carefree in this life, nor because I’m a selfish asshole with no care for others (hopefully not anyway!), but in fact because I’m the polar opposite to this tee and am forever working on giving far less f**ks in this lifetime a la Sarah Knight, author of the hilarious and liberating ‘The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving A F**K”. If you met me you might not get this from me; I have zero qualms about no makeup, no pedicures and no blow dries, I’m not a clean freak, my organisational skills are lacking, I’m messy, terrible at keeping things ‘precious’ and am pretty open and honest about everything and anything (I rarely spare the gory details). But I’m a pathological perfectionist at heart. ‘Perfectionist’ might be used as a pro on job applications and covering letters, but to me, its actually a huge con in this strange but wonderful life of ours. It’s not about having to colour inside the lines or always striving for better; it’s about feeling like you’re never quite there and never really letting yourself be present because we’re constantly looking for what’s wrong, what can be improved and what’s next. Congratulating ourselves or being empathetic to ourselves doesn’t come easy. Any fellow perfectionists out there will probably know this feeling right, even though it’s sometimes only in hindsight we can truly take it on board. We have the tendency to be pessimists, controlling, struggle to make decisions and get anxious easily; in short being a perfectionist is anything but perfect. It might mean we work hard and are conscientious, but we all know there’s more to life than work and behind the scenes we’re hard on ourselves, others around us and to top it all off, we’re covered in scales with webbed toes. Or is that just me?

Ever got really down in the dumps if the restaurant you want to go to doesn’t have room and you have to try somewhere else? Or are unable to pull yourself out of a slump if that holiday isn’t exactly how you imagined? You might be part of perfectionists anonymous without even realising it. If you of course genuinely do ‘m’en fous’, this will all sound a bit mental and you’ll probably be reading those examples shaking your head with a confused look on your face.

Us perfectionists tend to have vivid imaginations so we can imagine perfectly (lol) how something should be and seeing as perfection is subjective and totally in the eye of the beholder, it’s a pretty safe bet that to a perfectionist, nothing will every be perfect. Safe to say, realising this stuff about myself has been a bit of a process and trying to really overcome being a perfectionist is way more than just knowing it. In fact, I’m working on a post as we speak that’s in the same vein as this post on happiness here about what I’ve learnt so far about perfectionism. I think I’m going to start doing a few more of these ‘Lessons In… ‘ posts going forward, be it about emotions or buying a house or working for yourself, so let me know if you’d be keen. I don’t think I’m an oracle on anything, far from it, but sometimes it’s just interesting for you and me both to get others’ perspectives on things and issues we might all encounter from time to time.

So I’m starting with a t-shirt. A t-shirt that pretty much sums up life’s goals in my mind in the hope I can stop ‘shoulding’ myself. It’s not about not caring about others or about yourself or your actions; I firmly believe it’s a pretty good trait to care deeply about all three of those. But it is about surrendering to life’s spaghetti junctions, accepting others and their reactions as out of your control and truly believing that sometimes silver linings really do come out of those supposed clouds.

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Coat | Isabel Marant 
Tee | Reformation 
Boots | Filippa K
Jeans | J brand 
Bag | Gucci 
Sunglasses | Celine 
Belt | Paige 

 

 

Ph. by Frances Davison 

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Comments

  • Love this colour combo and the statement! xx

  • This is just what I needed on a Friday morning, thank you Lucy! And yes more ‘Lessons In’ posts would be great!x

  • Laura Rose

    love the tweed of the coat with the velvet of the bag!

    Rose and Weston x

  • Love the deep red pop of colour from the boots! Simply chic! :)

    La Bijoux Bella | by mia

  • Gina

    Cool shirt <3

    x

  • Cathy Vu

    I love this post and you and your writing and please do the Lessons in…series. I want to read anything you put out. Muah!

  • Ros Shiers

    Brilliant post, I so get this, you are excellent at articulating the way I can be and feel about things Lucy.
    You really help me make sense of my head, more “Lessons In” posts definitely please. Loved the other post on happiness too.
    When are we going to get a sneak peak of your flat renovation :) dying to see, much love Ros xx

  • I love this outfit.

    http://www.inmydreams.ca/

  • The Gold Lipstick

    Gorgeous outfit!

    Mireia from TGL
    https://thegoldlipstick.com/

  • This coat is seriously amazing. I love love love the red that is woven in!

    http://www.kristenskouture.com | luxury. fashion. lifestyle.

    .

  • Loving this jacket babe x

    Millie x
    queenmillie.blogspot.com

  • Love that jacket! I can relate, I can be a perfectionist too but if I feel too tired I will turn my je m’en fous mood on. When I get too stressed I just remind myself that in the grand scheme of things whatever is frustrating me probably doesn’t matter that much and that eventually it will go away.

  • Love that tee!

    http://j.mp/DNAMAG

  • Naelle Paris
  • Thank you so much for sharing this! I couldn’t relate more!
    I hope that one day all us perfectionists will be content with ourselves in their current state -whatever that might be. For me, the hardest part is putting the theory into practice. And I guess that’s what makes us so pessimistic and controlling. I can describe it as having an imaginary picture of the “perfect” (be it situation, person, etc.) and always trying to reach it and resemble it, and yet it’s always out of reach. But the worst part I think is when you create that perfect image based on others’ ideas. That’s when you can lose track of your needs, priorities and wants. So I completely agree we have to stop “shoulding” ourselves and just let it be.
    I’ve also just added that book and tee to my wishlist. ;)
    And yes, more “Lessons in…” would be great!

  • I totally agree with Cathy and the other comments, I’d love to have some more ‘Lessons In’ posts!

    You just say things in a way that is so understandable :) For me, I need to stop caring so much about what other people think! That’s a big one.

    Heather x http://www.atelierofstyle.co.uk

  • Andrea L

    what an awesome post! i can realte so much…your words are me love it!

    https://andreaandcoco.wordpress.com/

  • That post is so relatable… And as a French, I have to say, I love the tee-shirt!

    http://ariadibari.com

  • viktoria
  • Sabina

    The coat + the tee are so chic! Love the styling!

    Sabina | http://www.IveGotSunshine.com

  • The whole look is great. And I have to get that book, thanks for sharing!
    http://www.pippihepburn.etsy.com

  • Love the t-shirt and especially the story around it. Honestly, these are the reads that stick with me, when a person really opens up and doesn’t just throw some commonplaces into a post.

    xx
    Adele | naemora.com

  • Thank you so much for sharing this – your words are so honest and genuine, it’s really reassuring to know that everyone is facing their own struggles and we’re not alone in times of self doubt. I love your writing and your blog posts and I’d be really interested in a “Lessons In” series too. Sometimes it’s far more helpful to read real words than some kind of manual concocted by a self-professed oracle!

  • Katrina

    Oh my!!!! What an honest and resonating post! Sat there nodding the whole time I was reading it!

  • Susan

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE this look…the coat is to die for, the boots, the bag….fabulous!
    Just care about the stuff that really matters. The rest…. c’est la vie.

    http://a-woman-of-a-certain-age.com/2016/08/best-bags-for-fall/

  • Sarah Cale

    Super interested in “Lessons In…” posts, I’m also a share everything type of person so it would be interesting to read your advice and opinions :) x